Religion or relationship?

I've always said I'm not religious I'm about having a relationship with Christ. You can call me a Christian if you want but I don't label myself that way because it has so many twisted connotations in our society.

I was reading in Luke 1 this morning. I was struck by verse 28.

(In the Message)
Good Morning!
You're beautiful with God's beauty,
Beautiful inside and out.
God be with you.

Right in that moment the realization of who Mary must have been for God to choose her and make this deceleration over her struck me. She wasn't like her Jewish culture making sacrifices at the temple but not really knowing God, making and following silly rules; She knew God. She had a relationship with Him. She probably prayed daily for the coming of the Messiah. She was already a part of God's work on the earth before she became the mother of the Messiah because she was praying for God's will to be done on the earth.

I want to be a part of God's plans on the earth I want the physical importance but I forget about the ground work that makes me qualified to be used by God. The prayer and the relationship. I think I often claim to not be religious because my religion looks different  then the typical definition. I do a lot of things without talking to God about it. I forget to spend time with Lord sometimes. I go to church, I do churchy things, I go on mission trips, and sometimes there's a lot of relationship but sometimes there is none. I don't want to be a Pharisee making my life all about "things I do for God" instead of just being with God. I want to be like Mary. God, take my heart and make it yours. Mold it to desire you more then it does right now. Show me how to pray, show me how to seek you more. Convict me again if I begin to fall into religion. 

what a ride

The sound of this blog will be different then usually because I'm tagging it so travelers making the same trip can find some good info. There's not much out there.
30 hours of peace from the Lord. That's the best way to describe the bus ride from Kampala, Uganda to Arusha, Tanzania. I went into the trip with expectations of the worst. Yeah, it was bad, but not as bad as I expected. It cost me 95,000 Uganda Shillings which was about $38 US. The bus was 5.5 hours later then my ticket said. That frustrated me some, but I was used to Africa time by that point and wasn't too upset. I had some chapti in the restaurant with no ill effects and it was only 3,000 shillings for 2. I traveled with Kampala Coach and I would recommend traveling with them again. Once we were finally on the road it was rush hour traffic so the driver took a back road route out of Kampala which was bumpy but faster then normal. We got to the Kenya boarder around 12:30 am. If you a just getting a transit visa I would recommend bringing with you small bills in US dollars. The sign said the cost was $10-20 and when I said I only had $13 us he said I would need to get more because that wasn't enough and I ended up paying $25 because of what I lost in exchanging Tanzania shillings into US. Don't let anyone fill out your paper work, they don't allow agents to bring your stuff to the counter. If you are muzungu they swarm you. Just tell them you will do it yourself. You shouldn't have to pay to exit the country only entering. Oh and Tanzania visitor Visa in August 2012 was $100 not $50 like Uganda
Anyway. That was the only area I had any trouble. I was very nervous about my stuff getting stolen and I was afraid I wouldn't sleep. I wrapped my backpack around my legs and put my feet on top and and my purse around me and nestled between me and the bus wall. I dozed off several times and by the end I realized I was a lot more safe then I was fearing. All my bags made it and nothing was taken from me.
I hardly ate or drank at all the whole trip because I was afraid of needing to go to the bathroom because we only stopped to let people on or off. Sometimes we went 5 or 6 hours without stopping.
The pump on the second gas tank broke. So we broke down on the side of the road for a while and they cyphened the gas out from that tank into the other tank and we were going again.
I really felt like the people on the bus were watching out for me and I didn't feel like a target was on me because I was white. The staff was kind and were very helpful to me.
So a word to those looking to take this journey, it's bumpy, it's smelly, it's hot, it's exhausting, it's nerve racking, it's REALLY REALLY long, but it's crazy cheep. So if you're willing to go on an adventure I say do it but expect the worst. Otherwise, fly, it's not that expensive.

TIA (This is Africa)

I’ve heard this phrase over and over again but felt that last Tuesday, it was very applicable. I had discovered that because of the diet here one of my medications needed to be increased, but I didn’t have enough. So Sara, the founder/director of the ministry I am at agreed to take me to the pharmacy to try to get some more. We were waiting for the road to clear to make a right turn (driving on the opposite side of the road… it’s like a left turn) the cars started honking behind us because this is Africa driving. The road had cleared and as we began to turn a boda boda (a motorcycle with a paying passenger) passed us on the right which is illegal. Because he did, we hit the back and they went sliding across the pavement. The driver got up, but the woman on the back didn’t move. I jumped out to check on her while Sara tried to pull out of traffic. What I saw terrified me and I didn’t know what to do except pray. The woman didn’t look good and I was sure there was brain damage (no one wears helmets here). Next door to the pharmacy is a clinic so I ran into the clinic and asked for a doctor. They moved fast which surprised me because if you’ve ever been to Africa, nothing is fast except the driving. Sara, a nurse, went in the clinic with the woman while I waited in the car with the other American volunteering here right now, Kailey. Sara eventually came back telling us that the woman had a complex fracture and they don’t have the ability to set it at this clinic but she’ll have to be transferred but there was no evidence of brain damage she was talking and in pain but cognitive and fine. So there’s two possibilities it was shock and that’s why she looked so bad when I saw her, or God healed her. I’m ok with either one. The police were getting the driver and sara’s stories about what happened but the boda driver was saying it wasn’t his fault but his account of what happened was the same as Sara’s .  Joseph, Sara’s husband, a Ugandan, showed up, putting us all a little more at ease. The Woman’s husband showed up and at this point Sara said even though it’s not her fault she wants to help with the woman’s medical bills, knowing the boda driver wouldn’t/couldn’t. After a couple hours at the scene, one of the staff members from the ministry showed up to pick us up. Sara and Joseph went to the police station to make their statement about what happened. As far as we knew it was clear the police knew it was the boda driver’s fault and things should resolve easily

The next morning Kailey had gotten a text from Sara that she had been arrested but was later released. We knew nothing more. We were very confused. That night we got more of the story. Things got complicated after the police station, Sara wanted to check on the woman, the police said she should not go, it would make her look guilty, but they went anyway. The husband was very angry because there was a police officer who was telling lies to everyone and he told the husband that it was Sara’s fault. There was a big upset and the husband hit Sara’s husband, Joseph. There was a police officer there who was a friend of the woman’s family and he decided to arrest Sara. He took sara back to the same police station they just came from. The officer working looked up the case number she gave him, he looked at it and told the police man who arrested her, he could not arrest her. So she was released. Her car remained in evidence for several days. Later there was a meeting with Sara and the Husband again and he apologized for hitting Joseph and he agreed to not press charges against Sara he understood the collision was not her fault.

The moral of the story…. Life is different in Africa. Things are more complicated sometimes especially if the color of your skin is a little different.

What life would be like

These kids are so well taken care of here, they are fed well, clothed well, they go to church and to school, they go to the doctor when they are sick, it's sometimes easy to forget that these kids are orphans. I was reminded yesterday. I was holding this little guy, 

He had a fever and was just not feeling well. He started crying and so I was holding him while also trying to keep an eye on the rest of the children during play time… which means let’s see how many of us can clobber Aunty Nicole at once time. So poor Emma is caught in the middle. I thought it would be good for him to just go lay down but after 5 minutes of crying I didn’t think that was going to work, so I just held him. He had quieted and then started crying again, I tried to get him to tell me what was wrong and eventually figured out he needed to go potty. So I took him but it struck me, a mom would have known. A mom would have known that cry. That’s what these kids are missing, they are loved and they are taken care of, but they will never be known the way they would have been known by mommy. I don't know what make of this, but it has deepened my compassion toward them.

virus or no virus

I remember sitting in freshman health class and we watched a video about the Ebola virus (I don't remember why) but I remember thinking wow, good thing I'm never going to Africa. I forgot about that until today. Today I received official notice from the ministry I'm working with that there is an Ebola outbreak in Uganda. There's only been 1 case in Kampala (where I'll be) and it was someone who came in to go to the hospital. Ebola transmission is similar to HIV. I obviously have already planned to be cautious about that so I'm not concerned. The ministry said if they become concerned about risk they will send me home and hunker down with the kids.
I will probably just leave early for Tanzania depending on the circumstances. WHO and CDC are involved. WHO has not placed any travel restrictions on Uganda. I'm not concerned about this but I did want to share with you who are supporting me in prayer how to be praying.
Thank you for supporting me and lifting me up!
Ok that was a nice little break, time to get back to packing.

Tickets!!!!!

I am way overdue for an update. Despite an epic fail on my big fundraiser God has been faithful and I'm only about $400 away from my goal and I should have that just from paychecks before I go. I still have several people who have told me they are helping me in someway they just don't know the amount yet. God is so faithful I feel so foolish for doubting him.
My plane tickets have been purchased and I'm getting excited about going. It feels like it's real now that I have tickets. So now it's on to the next phase of anxiety... what's going to happen? Sometimes I find myself getting nervous about this adventure I'm about to embark on. I know there are dangers and it would be safer to stay home. Sometimes I have this split second thought of not going because I get scared but then I remember why I'm going and it goes away. Please pray with me against this fear and pray all the little details get worked out because I've had several plans fall through of details like what phone I will have so I can be in communication with people I know while traveling between countries. It's little stuff like that but stuff that will make a big difference in my anxiety.
So the official dates are August 7-31. I fly out of Seattle. I've been thinking about having a little get together at my house the night before for those who want to come say good-bye details to come.
Thanks for your prayers.

At the end of me

I found it. I've come to the end of me, where the only choice I have is faith. Yesterday I found out only 2 tickets have sold for my fundraiser dinner on Friday. While I've had some minor panic moments I've been pretty strong in faith knowing God's going to come through. Tonight I decided to skip my normal entertainment and to-do list plans and have some Jesus time to talk to him about this in addition to the hours of prayer today and yesterday. This is what he told me: If I get through Friday with only a one cent donation and I lose a lot of money on this event, but I have faith, and I am kind and my words are loving and encouraging - then it's a success. So for all of those who pray for me, remember the story about the battle with the Amalek :

Amalek came and fought Israel at Rephidim. Moses ordered Joshua: "Select some men for us and go out and fight Amalek. Tomorrow I will take my stand on top of the hill holding God's staff." Joshua did what Moses ordered in order to fight Amalek. And Moses, Aaron, and Hur went to the top of the hill. It turned out that whenever Moses raised his hands, Israel was winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, Amalek was winning. But Moses' hands got tired. So they got a stone and set it under him. He sat on it and Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on each side. So his hands remained steady until the sun went down. Joshua defeated Amalek and its army in battle.

God said to Moses, "Write this up as a reminder to Joshua, to keep it before him, because I will most certainly wipe the very memory of Amalek off the face of the Earth."

Moses built an altar and named it "God My Banner." He said,

Salute God's rule!
God at war with Amalek
Always and forever!
                                                                --- Exodus 17 Msg
I know I need you holding my arms in this battle of faith this week. I am so weak and I'm struggling so much. PLEASE be praying for me. Prayer is the only way to win this battle and I cannot do it alone.

Prayer

I remember a conversation during one of the classes in the internship, we were talking about prayer. I was abnormally quiet that day because for all of my theological understanding, prayer didn't click with me like I saw it click in those around me. I didn't know why. I knew that God was all powerful and I thought that no matter what I did or said God was still going to do what He planned and so my prayers were really for my benefit and frankly I wasn't getting much benefit.
Around January my prayers started to change. I started to decide that even though I don't understand I'm going to choose to pray for God to help me heal. Heal from the grief I had from losing a friend to cancer. Grief from failing out of the nursing program and still grief from not being chosen for the 2nd year internship. 2011 was a rough year for me, but I decided to give it to God and trust Him to make it better because I didn't want to be miserable anymore.
Slowly things have changed and I get deeper with God over and over again. Right now I'm experiencing a new level of deepness as I begin to understand prayer differently then I did. It's freeing.

God
This new understanding of prayer starts with a more refined understanding of God. Yes, God is all powerful. He can do whatever he wants. Just like we can say whatever we want to a 2 year old. God CHOSE to limit himself so that things on earth are done because humans do them. That's why Jesus had to come in the form of man. Just like we choose to use fewer words when we talk to a 2 year old. Just because we use a simpler vocabulary doesn't mean to don't have the ability to use all the words we know, it's just better for the 2 year old if we use simple words. It's better for us if God limits himself. Why? He gave us purpose and responsibility. We aren't here to self destruct we are here so that God can use us to accomplish his will.

Praying
So when you pray, pray for the things God has already reviled to you are His will. Things that he has said you need to wait for His timing... pray for those things to come. Then pray for the things you know he desires in scripture, like healing, strong marriages, salvation, be a part of God moving by praying for the things He needs you to pray for. Don't forget to ask for the things you want. God loves us and he'll either answer our prayers or show us why it's not good for us to have what we want.

I'm only on chapter 2 of this book so I'm sure that there is more to come!

Answered prayer

I know many of you have been praying for my health for years. I wanted to give you an update. In addition to the main endometriosis problem, for as long as I can remember I've had fatigue that would take over periodically for no known reason. It's effected school, my social life, my faith I've even had to quit jobs because of it, it's been an uphill battle for sure! Over the years I've been tested for everything under the sun and finally the doctors just labeled it with some catch all diagnosis that didn't really make sense and the treatment didn't help even in the slightest.
The fatigue hit again. It's slow to start so sometime last week I noticed I was really struggling. I decided to call my new doctor, the natropath, to see if I had set up the new diet she has me on wrong or something. After reviewing that she said that wasn't the problem but in the tests she ran the last visit there was one test that came back positive that may answer these questions.
I have a genetic mutation that effects my metabolism. I actually have two that work on the same pathway. So the enzyme that is supposed to be made by this gene isn't working. This can cause FATIGUE, heart disease (in the long rung) miscarriages, dementia, blood clots, etc.
The even more exciting part to finding the problem and putting and accurate name on it is the treatment is pretty simple and not that costly. It's two supplements a day, the receptionist said her husband is on the same stuff and it works like a miracle. It's gonna take 3-14 days to kick in (plus maybe a little bit because one of the supplements I have to wait until next week to get, they were out) As with everything concerning my health, I asked how this will effect me when I move to Africa after school. She said, I do need to be on these for the rest of my life. So when teams come over or people come to visit or I go home I'll have to get more and one bottle lasts 3 months of the one, not sure about the other... so it's really not that big of a deal. AND I"LL FEEL BETTER!!!
I'm not sure I've ever been so excited to get a diagnosis before ever! Thank you all for your prayers. I'll keep you updated.

By Faith... you obeyed

The theme of my life lately has been faith. So when I started a new reading plan I thought it would be good to do one on faith, since that's where God is working in my life anyway. Today I was reading Hebrews 11. Yeah it's cool to read about how people a LONG time ago obeyed God and trusted Him and had faith. There were two verses though that really struck me.

(Taken from The Message) Hebrews 11:6 - It's impossible to please God apart from faith. And why? Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that he exists and that he cares enough to respond to those who seek him. I think it's easy to forget that second part. That's why we hunger for someone to speak prophesy over us. It's why we hunger for healing. It's why we hunger for miracles. They are signs to us that God does care enough to respond to our prayers. The problem is miracles come when we ask for them in faith. If we're really asking for faith when we ask for miracles it's not likely that will come. Then we're discouraged that God didn't hear us. When it's not that... we just had the wrong attitude. If we need faith, we have to ask for it and then act on it. You can't just agree that you should have faith to have faith, you have to do something. That also means we need to obey and live in it. Do the crazy things God says to do. Listen for His voice. He's speaking to you, you just might not be listening. It means living like a promise from God is going to be answered. No back up plans. It means telling someone something they might not want to hear... but God wants them to hear. It means loving the unlovable. Living in faith is not easy.

Then it was funny because I was already putting this picture together in my head and I came to Hebrews 11:40 - God had a better plan for us: that their faith and our faith would come together to make one completed whole, their lives of faith not complete apart from ours. I think this is HUGE because sometimes living a life of faith, even in a christian community can feel lonely. Sometimes God calls us to do weird things that make us feel alone. But the simple truth is, if you are walking in faith... you are walking right next to Enoch, Noah, Abraham, David, Jesus, etc. You are never alone, nor were they ever alone. God is not limited by time and so in my head all these people - even today, are all walking together hand in hand obeying the God who made us. I don't know about you, but that's the most beautiful picture to me.

Step out in faith today. Ask God how He needs you to obey today. How can you become a man or woman of faith?

Sermon on the Mount

Oh, my time with God was goooood this morning.
I want to share with you a bit of my heart. I know most of this blog in the past has just been boring trip updates for various mission trips. While that's fine, I feel like God is teaching me stuff along this road and I'm ripping you off by not sharing. It's your journey too in a way, if you have committed to pray or have given. So I should be sharing with you what God is doing if it's in my heart or in the physical world.
Among many things God has been teaching me to TRUST him. That means letting go of things I think help hold me together and trust Him to do a better job. As I cleaned out my closet yesterday I had a hard time letting go of some really cute pieces. I haven't worn them because they don't fit right or I don't have anything to go with it and I kept thinking if I let this go I have room to get something I like better and fits better. Then I read my Bible this morning. In Matthew 6, when Jesus talks about how we shouldn't worry about what we're going to wear, because God makes the flowers beautiful. The way the Message puts it, basically I felt like it was directly attacking the fashion world. The expensive clothes and shoes and even if we bargain shop, we have ALOT so we can be fashionable. So I see a contrast: Jesus says don't worry about what you are wearing and he says be generous. I'll let you make the connection.

Then I found another contrast, a lifestyle our society certainly doesn't propel remember the school yard rhyme "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" Will, Jesus kinda says the opposite. When he's talking about persecution he says in essence, bring it on, because it it'll only make you closer to God and if you die, you get to be with God, so there's not loss there. Then when talking about loving and hating your enemies he says what you say kills. Sounds to me like the rhyme should instead say "Sticks and stones will save me but your words will destroy me"

It's frustrating to see how backwards we have it sometimes. I was so encouraged because I left like most of what I read today was affirming to me, I'm on the right path. I'm doing what I need to do. I'm sacrificing my desires so I can have a pure and righteous heart. Sometimes it hurts and it's hard and I'm scared of failure but I want Jesus. Plain and simple.

Fear be gone!

I'm working on integrating a truth into my life. I love how God is helping me in different ways. It starts with a short story in the book Kisses from Katie, by Katie Davis.

"Once there was a people who surveyed the resources of the world and said to each other: “How can we be sure that we will have enough in hard times? We want to survive whatever happens. Let us start collecting food, materials, and knowledge so that we are safe and secure when a crisis occurs.” So they started hoarding, so much and so eagerly that the other peoples protested and said: “You have so much more than you need, while we don’t have enough to survive. Give us part of your wealth!” But the fearful hoarders said: “No, no, we need to keep this in case of an emergency, in case things go bad for us too, in case our lives are threatened.” But the others said: “We are dying now, please give us food and materials and knowledge to survive. We can’t wait . . . we need it now!” Then the fearful hoarders became even more fearful, since they became afraid that the poor and hungry attack them. So they said to one another: “Let us build walls around our wealth so that no stranger can take it from us.” They started erecting walls so high that they could not even see anymore whether their enemies were outside the walls or not! As their fear increased they told each other: “Our enemies have become so numerous that they may be able to tear down our walls. Our walls are not strong enough to keep them away. We need to put bombs at the top of the walls so that nobody will dare to even come close to us.” But instead of feeling safe and secure behind their armed walls they found themselves trapped in the prison they had built with their own fear. They even became afraid of their own bombs, wondering if they might harm themselves more than their enemy. And gradually they realized their fear of death had brought them closer to it."

When I first read this I thought of our hearts. We are afraid of being hurt so instead of loving others caring for them or just being with them in their place of pain, we ignore it. We hope if we act like we didn't see it then God won't hold us accountable for saying "no" to the opportunity to be Him to them. I think a lot of this stuff about the way we guard our hearts we do, subconsciously and we need to pray that God gives us the courage to step beyond that.

Isaiah 52:3 describes Jesus as "a man of suffering, and familiar with pain." When I read that it struck me that Jesus made himself vulnerable to feel the pain of others to allow himself to be moved by compassion for others. Why do we fear compassion? I think we fear it because it moves us to action and sometimes it's nice to stay in our comfy bed in our comfy pajamas and we don't want to get up and do something. But if we want to have the heart of Jesus - a man of compassion who suffered with the suffering and hurt because of it - we HAVE to open our hearts to "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." (Romans 12:15 NIV) That means no just when it's socially respectable to mourn, but EVEN when you come across that person you know is wearing a mask of "everything's ok" but you can tell, nothing's ok. Listen, pray, BE THERE. It means when a kid comes to your door raising money for something and he's obviously discouraged by the lack of generosity, allow yourself to be moved to compassion and give up your coffee tomorrow and buy something or make a donation.


That's the second thing I go from this story, first I thought of the show about disaster prepping and the ridiculous amount of money people put into building a bunker and stock piling food they may be more organized but there's nothing different between them and the hoarders. Both are driven by fear to keep, keep, keep. There's no generosity. There's no giving. They are held captive by fear. If we want to live like Jesus, according to Matthew 5, we have to be generous and gracious. I do't see either of these qualities in hoarding. Now, maybe I don't hoard in either of those ways, but I eat out a lot more then I should. I could work to spend less on food and then have more to give away. I have BAGS of clothes in my closet that don't fit anymore, not even close. I keep them just in case. Just in case means I'm afraid Jesus won't take care of me when something happens.


My project this week: clean out my closet and give away all of my just in case clothes. Project number 2: put some cash in small bills in my wallet so when the kid does come to my door, or there's a homeless man sitting outside my church, I have money to give. I won't have an excuse. I refuse to live in captivity to fear!

How it all works

Isaiah 2:3b - "He'll show us the way he works so we can live the way we're made" (The Message) Doesn't that sum it up right there? That's why daily spending time with Jesus is so important. I grew up in church, went to a christian college and memorized a LOT of Bible verses growing up. So sometimes I feel like I know the Bible and I don't need to spend time with Jesus EVERY day. I just recently found myself at the bottom of a slippery slope and now that I'm back up on my feet I'm wondering how I got there to begin with.
 
 It starts with compromise.
Just when I was opening up my Bible I was thinking about how sometimes you hear pastors say if the last thing you want to do is read your Bible that should be the first thing you do. Well, that is true, I think I take my hunger for the word for granted. I decide that something else is more important and I'll still be hungry later so I'll wait. Well, it seems that hunger for the Word is like hunger for food. If you wait long enough you'll stop feeling hungry - at least for a while. When I started nursing school I knew Jesus was the only way I'd make it through. I was consistent and passionate about team each morning with Jesus. Then one morning I was tired so I decided to do it after class and sleep in. Well, after class there was homework and before I knew it I was climbing into bed never having STOPPED to talk to Jesus, sure I talked to him all day long, but I never stopped to listen to what he had to say aback. I never stopped to look to see how He wanted me to live today. I think Jesus changes us in such subtle ways sometimes it's hard to see him changing us at all. I like to see results and when I don't, what I'm doing feels futile.

  It ends with determination.
Now that I'm seeing what can happen to my heart when left unchecked I am reminded that Jesus constantly adjusting my path back onto His is vital. But now I have bad habits to break. I have gotten used to my "my-way" routine. It's hard to stop and choose Jesus especially because I'm not in an extreme position where I KNOW I can't go on without Jesus. Instead, I know I can make it through life on this earth by myself, but if I choose to let Jesus in I can LIVE the way I was made. It starts back up just like it stopped only in reverse. EVERY SINGLE DAY I mush choose to spend time in the Word. I must stop to listen to Jesus and I always need to pray that He makes me more like Him. If you're not getting stronger and pushing for a deeper relationship, you're getting weaker. There's no staying stagnant.

 So I am saying yes to God, I'm choosing His path, and I will not waver. My God is good.

Support letter 2012

I've sent out about a billion support letters, if I missed you, here you go:

If you keep up on facebook you already know, I am going back to Africa this summer. I’ve never been more excited. This trip is like the beginning of my future ministry. I’m going to Uganda for 2 weeks by myself to learn more about ministry in Uganda. I’ll be staying at an orphanage recently opened by a nurse from Texas, Sara. Someone I can well relate to. Then, I have a team that’s still growing and shaping that will join me in Uganda for a week. I will be able to show this team what makes me passionate about Uganda. I look forward to showing them the hand of God in action in obviously tangible ways in the lives of the kids there. Then we’ll be traveling to Tanzania to spend time with the Forrest Family who recently moved there to be missionaries with YWAM.
They were the pastors in charge of the internship I did last year. The purpose of this part is to love and encourage them, but also to help with their ministry in any way we can. This whole trip is a little different then trips I’ve done before because instead of having a list of objectives we will complete, I know generalities of where God is calling me but I don’t really know what I’ll be doing, but I trust that there are needs I will be able to meet that God already knows about.
PRAISE THE LORD! 24 of you have already committed to support me in prayer for this trip, breaking the record for any of my previous trips. That alone gives me confidence that God is moving here. If you haven’t jumped on board with this prayer movement, don’t worry it’s not too late, either shoot me an email or send back the prayer response paper and let me know you are standing with me as I go ready to serve as the Lord leads.
I still need financial support. I am so grateful right now to have a great job that will significantly help in gathering funds but I still feel it’s just as important to have you, supporting me because it gives me confidence I am not alone. It also gives you an opportunity to not just say you are supporting me in this by praying but making it YOUR ministry by taking ownership in it and supporting financially. I am not sure I ever shared this but my goal for every trip is to earn 1/3 through work or some personal effort of my own, 1/3 through my amazing team of supporters, and 1/3 through fundraisers. I thought rather than the same old “please send me money” plea you may be used to from support letters I would instead challenge you. Go look in your closet and count the number of shoes you have. For each pair you have, send me a dollar. If everyone does this I will have easily covered a 1/3 of my costs. The grand total of costs is $3600. That equates to a lot of opportunities to join me in Africa this summer through your financial support.
I’ve re-written this letter about 4 times now, because stuff keeps changing. So I’m putting my foot down and mailing it out, but please check in on the blog for updates.
Hit reply and let me know how you want to be involved
- You can pray, I’ll send you monthly updates
- You can pray and I’ll add you to my list to be updated while I’m gone by text or email
- Or just let me know you’ll pray
- You can give a one-time gift and send a check made out to Rafiki Africa Ministries to 659 Gehr St. Wenatchee, WA 98801
- You can give a couple of gifts over the coming months
- You can ask me to check in with you later because you want to give but can’t right now.

I want to say Yes! Sometimes I say No.

I've been thinking about missions a lot lately. God's been doing some spring cleaning in my heart this week and there are a few lessons I want to share with you.

First I've been learning about the curse of money. Money can bring freedom, but not in the way our society says. Just turn on the TV with people hoarding everything from cats to canned food society says keep everything you can get your hands on and hold on to it. You might need it tomorrow. That sounds like fear not freedom to me. Sometimes society says to put it in a savings account, but what happens when the stock market crashes and that's gone - looks like fear not freedom to me.

I see freedom in the person that recklessly gives it all away trusting that God will provide for tomorrow. This is biblical. As much as don't want it to be in our comfy american homes with air conditioning and clean running water. When the Israelites lived on manna did God allow them to keep more then what they needed for the day? No. When they did the result was much like the show hoarders: buried alive, with maggots and gross icky things invading their homes. God has always asked his people to trust Him and to live on what He gives them and to generously give trusting He will supply more.

So when God asks me to go, to give, to do, I wish I always said yes, sometimes I do. But sometimes I don't. I was broken today when as God was showing me this dicotamy about money I remembered I went to lunch with a friend a few weeks ago. We were walking from our cars to the restaurant and were stopped by a man who let us know that the soup kitchen had stopped serving already. My response to this was not to hear his honest need for food but I was offended that he thought I looked homeless and I carried on with my friend. I didn't see that right in front of me God had placed a man who needed to see the love of Jesus made real in someone willing to buy him lunch that day. In our culture it's easy to make the excuse that we don't give to the homeless because scams are too common or that they'll just use it for drugs, or this isn't a safe part of town to stop in... Arn't all those "reasons" just evidence of living in fear. Jesus didn't say that we're blessed when we do it to the least of these if we feel like it. He just said we are blessed when we do it because we do it for him. Honestly if it was Jesus... you would give. Jesus says it's the same thing. All that aside. I didn't even have that excuse with this man. I could have asked him to join us and I could have bought him lunch and been blessed to hear how God is moving in his life. maybe. Or maybe he would have turned my offer down, but I would have said yes to God, but that day I said no. I wish I could go back and say yes. To be honest any time I've ever said yes to God, I've never wanted to go back and say no.

Same day, same car drive through town, different conversation with God. I found out a few days ago of a missionary opportunity to work part time in Uganda and part time in the US. I can do this position while I'm in school and grow in some skill sets that will always be needed working in missions. I will be eligible to raise support through the ministry so I can do this missionary work like a job I would just have to ask people to pay my paycheck, which I may as well get used to doing anyway. So I've thought and prayed and asked others to pray and I wasn't seeing much of a downside but I wanted to be sure. So as I was driving I heard God ask me why I shouldn't take that position. "Well God, I'm not good enough, It's going to be hard, and what if you aren't faithful to provide my needs... Oh. I guess I have my answer then, Lord." Plain as day God showed me my heart. So I have a choice, live in fear and say no to God, or recklessly abandon this life that's not my own and say yes. Do I have to tell you what I chose?

Life is nothing but change

It's been a while so allow me to update you. School has been been an amazing learning opportunity and I'm currently taking a detour. I failed my pharmacology class by 0.8% I can't progress to the second quarter of the nursing program without passing that class. So I am doing the Medical Assistant program to keep my skills up and I will graduate in June of this year! Next fall I will take the pharmacology course again, now knowing how to study for that class (It's way different then normal classes) I am confident I will pass and I will then reenter the nursing program in January 2013.

This only slightly changes my trip to Africa, ok, actually a lot changes the plans for Africa. I will now be going for 4 weeks. 2 weeks in Uganda alone, learning about ministry and life in Uganda to prepare for the future move there. Then a team (unknown who or how big) will join me and we will spend a week in Uganda working in orphanages maybe doing some street ministry and just extending the hand of God's love to the unlovable.
Finally for the 4th week we will take a bus to Tanzania and spend a week with the Forrest Family, missionaries who were launched from my church. There are no real ministry plans but we are going to love on and encourage them. We are intentionally not planning ministry because it's $550 for a work visa, but if we are going just to visit the Forrests it's $50.

I'm excited to just be in Africa again. I'm excited to have more of an independent and leadership roll this time. I'm really excited to see how God will use me.

You have several opportunities to be involved in this trip at varying levels. You can join us. If you feel God is calling you to spend some time in Africa loving His people there, contact me at enlighten.05@gmail.com and let me know. You can also invest in this trip. I mean invest in every sense of the word because your tax free donations mean the world of difference for the lives that will be touched. It means that how ever God uses us while we are there, he's using you too. You become the hands and feet of Jesus through me. Finally you can pray. Let me know that you are consistently lifting me up in prayer about this trip and I'll keep you updated with more details especially as the trip gets closer.

To donate go to valleypraisecenter.com click on "Give Online" then as you enter in where you want your donation to go, in the other box, type "Nicole Card's mission fund" Thank you so much for your investments.