Taste and see that the Lord tastes like coffee

Tonight God showed me a slice of His heart. It was bitter, I don't understand how it can be good, but I know that God is good, and so it must be good. For much of my life up to about 18 this was about how I felt about coffee. I thought it tasted bitter, like dirt to be quite frank, but I knew it had to be good or adults wouldn't go so nuts over it so I pretended to love it, got a job at Starbucks and eventually learned to love it. I'm praying that will be the end of this journey of seeing God's heart.

When I went to Uganda in January, my favorite place we went was Uganda Jesus Village (UJV). The kids there are mostly kids that were rescued or escaped from the 20 year long civil war within Uganda led be he LRA (Lord's Resistance Army). This rebel movement would take kids as soldiers and often in the indoctrination process would force them to kill their own families. This way the kids feel as though even if they could escape and go home, they have no home to go to - extended family wouldn't want them either because of the betrayal. These are the kinds of kids you meet at UJV. You would never know it though. They were so much fun.

When we went there we were asked if we could do a medical clinic because most of the kids had just recently come back from the bush and were sick and the orphanage couldn't pay for all the hospital bills. So we brought our supplies and dove in. We learned the reason these kids were in the bush (up north, rugged rural Uganda) is because The original organization running UJV had sent the kids to their home villages and were keeping the support money coming in. So these kids were sent to elderly grandparents who can't even feed themselves, villages were they had no family and no would take them in. There was one boy that was his story, no one would take him. He was left to try to find food in the dry season. After many days of not even finding grass worth eating he resorted to eating handfuls of dirt at a time just to satisfy the hunger pangs. This image stuck in my head. PRAISE THE LORD there were some awesome people from Canada Kira and Cameron a brother/sister duo who had been there on a mission trip before went back and found out what had happened. They rangled up their savings and any other money they could find and got a bus and sent that bus to pick up all of the 70-80 kids that were there.

The kids were back safe and when were there all but 2 had been safely recovered. I think it turned out one of them went back to family willing and able to take him in and the other was later recovered. We treated LOTS of malaria and de-wormed all the kids.

Fast forward 8 months. Money has run out. Cameron is now running things and his sister sent out this plea

"I write you this letter with a plea in my heart!! I hate asking for money yet if we do not be honest and tell you where we are at then we can't give you the opportunity to show these kids your love! We are in desperate need right now of financial support. Since January of 2009 my brother and I have been solely responsible for providing the money to feed and educate the children. Along our journey we have had a number of people who have given and we are so thankful for you!! We have 67 children who need a sponsor if you would like to have a child you can provide for monthly or you can give just one time!!

I need to be honest because it has come to the place where the kids are going with out food because we have no money to purchase food. The school sent them home because there was no money for school fees this term. Even worse is we had one of our children Peter fell out of a tree and hurt himself badly requiring numerous stitches and x-rays. Since we were back in Canada our team in Africa had no funds to pay the hospital and Peter was left to bleed while Jennifer ran around Kampala trying to find the money. See in Africa the health care is different then ours where they will not even touch you until the bill is paid.

Our hearts really break for these children. We have done all we can with the help of God. Even though we worry daily of these children we know that God will some how take care of them. As much as we love them God in Heaven loves them more! At this point we know we will not be able to continue with out your help!! I know each of your have a heart for these children. I feel so humbled to have to ask you for your help. Yet at the same time I am excited to give you the opportunity to sow into the orphans and the widows. The Lord talks through out scripture about the blessing of giving to the orphans. Prov 21: " Whoever shuts his ears to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and not be heard." Then scripture tells us that we will be abundantly blessed if we help the poor!!

Please respond and help us in any amount even $20 goes to provide a meal. If you can give any amount please send me a message and I will direct you. Thank you so much for responding to the cry of these precious children!! I hate to ask but we need your help more then ever!!"

So I have had this rolling around in my head not sure what to do with because, I'm an intern with medical bills out the window. So I prayed and I started asking others to pray. Then tonight before college group started Pastor Nick asked me how things were going. I told him I had gotten the numbers right it's now 62 kids between the ages of 8-20. That was all I had. As the college group service started the topic was feeding the hungry. He was talking about spiritually hungry. My heart didn't heart that at all and so this starts snowballing and by the end of the service I am weeping because I see that kid sitting on the dirt so hungry all he can do is eat handfuls of dirt and all that he has been saved from the life he's enjoyed for the last few months of SAFETY is now on the brink of falling apart and he could be eating dirt again tomorrow. I know God's heart was breaking with mine and my heart broke BECAUSE HIS was already broken, what I can't reconcile yet is He is the almighty awesome powerful of God who has redeemed me. He's healed me. I have seen His power. So why can't He feed His children?

God works in unexpected ways

I've gone from thinking of the Internship at my church as a plan B to probably plan A. I am afraid to shut the door on nursing school but during finals week God opened my eyes to how little I trust and depend on him.
I had a take home test for Microbiology. I was feeling a lot of pressure to do well on this test because I got a 78% on the midterm and I really needed to get in the A, A- range to bring my GPA up. I hadn't studied probably as much as I should have throughout the semester and so I was worried I was going to miss some major points in my essays because I forgot key concepts. Most of the questions were the form of read this article and answer some complex question about it in essay form there were 9 questions and we were given 48 hours in the middle of finals week to do it. See my stress level? So by the time I got to sit down and do it I was so stressed I could barely concentrate. I was thinking I was going to skip out on college group and just stay home and get it done cause it was probably going to take most of the night. By the time it was time to go to college group I wasn't making any progress and was ready to quit. I figured I may as well go to college group and refresh my mind. It was a good time of worship and God encouraged me that he would help me stay awake to get it done and I can do it I just needed to calm down. So I came home and sat down to finish the 5 hardest questions I had saved for last. It took me about an hour and a half to finish. From what I heard from the rest of the class they spent about that much time on each question. I did on the first few also. So then turning it in I was nervous I had slopped through it to get it done. But as I thought it over there was no way I would have changed any of my answers. I got my grades back the next week. I got an A- in the class meaning I got an A on that final!

It was in the process of finishing that final and receiving the grade that I realized how much more I need to depend on God in the regular day to day stuff. The studying, the working, probably even in the stuff I do to try and keep the endometriosis from taking over my life. Though I know God could teach me that in many ways. I think the opportunity for the internship has been put in my life for this purpose. and I think if I were to attempt nursing school without going on this journey first, my efforts will be futile at best.

So right now I am expecting to do the internship but leaving the door open for God to change that again, mostly because I know if I close the door, I will end up being wrong. :)

Who would have thought that God would give me direction about my future through a microbiology exam?

"Grace and Peace to you"

This is such a profound greeting. I wish it was a regular greeting in our society. To wish upon one another Grace, grace to forgive, grace to love, grace to live life. Grace. To wish peace, a place of peace in Jesus because in one place all is right, everything is perfect. We find peace from the stress of daily life, we find the peace from our struggle with letting go of the old self and taking on the new. I can't tell you how many times in this struggle so intensely I loose all concept of peace. But to be able to just be able to choose God and find these powerful blessings of grace and peace. I wish grace and peace to each who read this.

A quick "catch-up" on my life. Two weeks left of school and then I submit my nursing school application. Knowing the competition and my grades it's going to be a miracle if I get in. I mean that in honesty not being hard on myself. So I realized I need a plan B for next year. So God has been adimetely leading me towards and internship here at my church. It's scary and way out of my comfort zone. But several of my "but this wont work because..." have been eliminated and I finally relented and said ok God if this is what you want, ok. I'm scared it's going to be hard, but ok. This internship will give me a lot of ministry experience and the opportunity to grow and work in a team to accomplish ministry goals. We will also go on a mission trip at the end of the year and I'll be taking bible courses which would satisfy my bible credit needs in order to enter the mission field with World Venture, who's been working with me to help prepare me for the time to go. I would get one on one mentor ship by one of the pastors' wives on a weekly basis and live in a host home for the duration.
So life is a toss up and a mix of unknowns until around the end of July I'll know which I will be going to do for the next year of my life.

Only an update.
I'm in school, 16 credits right now... and I'm a little overwhelmed.
I am still working at the nursing home job I got after returning from Africa and they are so great. I started having some heart issues related to my medication and was having issues working because of it and they worked with me until that was resolved. Then about a month ago I injured my elbow on the job and they have been great in getting that taken care of. I'm meeting with a physical therapist to see what course would be best to regain use of my right arm.

So things are just going along nothing crazy like another trip planned. Just working hard to be able to apply for nursing school for the fall start. Applications are due in June and I find out in July if I got in. Pray pray pray that things happen now to make that happen then. Meaning: I get good grades in my current classes... so far my grades show that my life is overwhelming right now. I've been studying really hard for my next test so hopefully it'll go better.

Post- Uganda Letter

My deepest apologies for taking so long to get this out. I normally wait until after the trip debriefing meeting to prepare the trip report, because the debriefing helps grasp what happened. The way this trip was structured I had to debrief myself which was a little harder than I expected. In addition to this I came home to culture shock, and a life turned upside down and backwards and it's taken a little time to get my world situated again.
All in all the trip was GREAT God moved in great ways through me, the team and those we served. As for me God revealed to me the answer to the question that been burning on my heart, internship or nursing school next? I got my answer loud and clear, nursing school. I am in the process of getting my ducks in a row for applications, unfortunately I missed several deadlines of schools I really wanted to go to so I may do the one year medical assistant program while I wait to get into nursing school. Oddly, I wasn't disappointed by this answer, I really thought I would be but I'm really excited I've grown in the mission part of preparation a lot and so I think it's time to get the school part done. I'm considering doing a year or two as a traveling nurse in the ER nursing school so I get more experience in different areas so I have more confidence to deal with whatever I may encounter in the future. My top considerations right now are TMCC( in Reno), WNC( in Fallon/Carson), and WVC (Wenatchee Valley College). While I do the traveling program I can finish my BSN online through UNR.
I saw God move through the lives of the team and change them too, but the team dynamic was very different from any trip I've ever been on and there was no open vulnerability in the end of the day meetings, so what people were going through or to say specifically how lives changed, I really don't know, cause I really never got know my teammates as much as I had hoped.
The day that I felt I could really see how God was using us to change lives was when we went to the Uganda Jesus Village (UJV). We came there because one of the translator/evangelists we were working with for the medical clinics is the pastor at this orphanage of sorts, it's all older kids, 8-19, and the majority are social orphans and the orphanage acts as a boarding school because of political issues. Within the month before we got there, the organization that had recently bought out the prior owners, decided it was time to reintegrate these kids into society and put them back in their homes up north. Most came from abusive families, no family, or elderly family that REALLY can't care for them. So they were left to care for themselves searching for food, eating dirt and grass. This resulted in worms and all sorts of digestive issues, the exposure to the elements, particularly mosquitoes, resulted in outbreaks of malaria and yellow fever. Even just a weakened immune system from poor nutrition can cause a malaria recurrence for someone who has already had it because the virus hides in the liver between outbreaks. When we heard what these kids went through we were astounded to see how many of them still had joy in their eyes as they worshiped our Lord. Though there were others whose eyes only hinted at the horrors they've been through. A brother and sister from Canada who has worked with UJV before found out about what happened pulled all their savings and sent a bus up to track down all these kids and bring them home. All but two of the 70 were found when I was there, but nearly all were sick. So Memory, the pastor, had posted on his Blog the week before we left for Uganda what had happened and asking people to pray that someone would send doctors and medicine because there was no more money to get medical help for these kids. None of us were aware of this (we didn't even know he knew what a blog was... ) but we offered to come back in 3 days and do a clinic, and that day we de-wormed all the kids because we did have that medicine with us. When we came back we found out that Memory had been praying someone like us would come. We were able to give all the necessary medicine for all the kids. This included anti-malaria medicine, Tylenol for fevers, re hydration salts to prevent having to take any more kids to the hospital, cough medicine, anti-biotic, even asthma medicine. In total we had over 50 medications available in our traveling pharmacy. I spent the majority of my time in the clinics working in the pharmacy.
This is the first of many parts of my report on the trip. The next part will be video and photos of the trip I will post links to Facebook and my blog. Then finally I will get out the detailed prayer journals for those who were on the prayer team. If there was a specific day that God moved on your heart to pray while I was gone, let me know what day and I will get you the detailed report of that day, so you too can see how God was moving through your prayers. Thank you all so much for your patience prayers and support! I will make much more of an effort to keep in contact with you all and keep you updated on the process of my education, which is ultimately the last few years of my preparation for the mission field (Lord willing...)

Pray that we would leave a lasting impact of God's love pouring through us as we reach out to the sick and dying. Pray that God would use us to share His joy and hope. Pray for the team members who God reveals need to make life changes when they get home. Pray that they would have courage to obey and the faith to trust it is worth it.
Pray that God will renew the spiritual passion of the Ugandans and empower them to reach out to help their own people.

Thursday, January 28, 2010
Pray that we will have perseverance to finish strong to the end and we will run this short race with endurance. Pray that where we lack, whether it be energy or grace or wherever, that God would fill that gap and be our completion. Pray that we will have the faith to allow Him to fill in this gap. Pray that the hearts of the locals in the various rural areas we work in will be open to the work that God has for us.
Pray that God would use us to challenge the ideas of locals that are mixed with Christ and mysticism and that we would be a tool to help find truth from lies.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Pray that God would open hearts to the truth that He will reveal through us. Pray that we will allow ourselves to be used as the hands of God at the medical clinics. In any adventure into a different culture there are always going to be some miscommunications. Pray that God will give us grace to deal with these humbly and gracefully.
Pray that the current system of displacement camps is changed or ended and people may regain the land they had before they were displaced and begin to build their families again.
 

Ugh Ugandan internet....

It's taken almost an hour to get this to load to be able to post this so I hope it's appreciated. Almost half the team was down sick today and tonight the Biola group leaves. We're going to the African market tomorrow and a graduation party for one of the mommas at the orphanage. somewhere in there we will be going back to sanyu baby home and help out a little more.
It's been a really good trip, I'm getting anxious to go home though I've been feeling icky for a few days now and I'm having to take a lot more pain medicine. It's sooo hot here. I know that's horrible for those suffering from the constant cold of Washington but with no ice or air conditioning to cool off after a hot day of work, It's getting old and I think all of us have a tinge of heat exhaustion not to mention the fever that has been going around.
my second luggage bag still has not shown. I've been praying that it'll come on the plane that lands in 2 hours. I won't find out until the morning though if it does. It would be nice to have it and not have to worry about it anymore.
I look forward to telling you all about the trip when I return home I have hours of footage and loads of pictures to share. I think it's time to let someone else on the computer though.
LOVE LOVE
Nicole

Pray that God would reveal some guidance about the potential internship and other future mission training work. Pray that God will continue to be my source of energy and strength. Pray that I have faith. Especially concerning my future. It's easy to get caught up in future goals and forget that God has a plan to get there. Pray that I will have the faith to let Him get me there His way.
Pray that peace will one day soon be found in Uganda, and that peace will spread throughout all of Africa.
 

Halfway done

It's been an interesting week Yesterday all my prayers about the team uniting finally were answered as people shared how God has been working in them during this trip. I've been having a really bad attitude of bitterness and I confessed that to the team and asked them to hold me accountable to having a better attitude.
The clinics have been incredible. I wish we could do more for all the people we encounter with HIV and more to educate about general health. the biggest reason for hospitalization with malaria is dehydration.
the deworming clinics have been good too we've treated thousands of kids.

my pain has been really bad. I had to go to the pharmacy and get more pain medicine. my second piece of luggage is still lost also so pray that God would guide it here before it's time to go. The last it was seen was in London. Thank you all so much for your prayers I can't wait to share with you the details of how God has been working through us!!!

Monday, January 25, 2010
Pray that the medical clinics would speak God's love into people's lives on a deeply personal level opening them up to the gospel. Pray that the healing found at the medical clinics would dispel any power of the lies of the local witchdoctors. I feel is it vital to pray next to that prayer that God would protect us from spiritual warfare. If we are getting rid of witchdoctors, Satan will be none too happy with us.
Witchdoctors, though less common, are still in existence throughout much of Africa. At times they look like real doctors with the title of a witch doctor for tradition's sake, but often the voodoo and spiritual complexities still exist even within Christian communities that didn't know how to deal with their witchdoctor heritage in this new Christian life.

As we go to church in Uganda and worship with the locals, pray that God uses us to encourage them and build them up in the Lord. Pray for safety and protection from violence and that political stability is maintained. Finally as we experience a different aspect of the global church and how God is moving, that He would reveal to us a new aspect of His character that enhances our understanding of Him.
Pray for protection for recovery homes from rebel soldiers. Places set up to help reintegrate child soldiers who have escaped. In these homes, children receive mental, physical, and spiritual healing. Several are run by World Vision. Knowing this is where "runaways" go, the rebels will sometimes attack these places of refuge.

I got one bag of luggage finally on Wednesday night. It's soo good to have some of my things and wear my own clothes. I never knew how much I appreciated that. The team is begining to bond. It's kinda odd with soooo many team members and the group from biola often separates themselves but we're all bonding slowly but surely. I have been feeling pretty well. We have been to 3 orphanages. We've held 3 de worming clinics and had one medical clinic. The de-worming clinc yesterday we had 1600 patients and that entire clinic cost $46. It's so crazy to realize how inexpensive it is to provide REAL help to these people. Today we are doing a medical clinic and that's all i know so far. I have a headache though so I am going to go lay down until breakfast. Thank you all for all your prayers. Please continue to pray that bag #2 shows up.

Saturday, January 23,2010
Pray that God would put a bubble of protection from spiritual warfare around us. We know from the story of Job that Satan will do whatever he can to mess with us sometimes. Pray that God would tell Satan no and that through that we would be able to freely serve God without that hindrance. Then pray that we ourselves would not get in our own way of serving God freely, but that we would live in obedience and humility to Him. Pray that especially while we are there, Uganda will find some idea of political stability.
Pray that the peace talks that have been unsuccessfully going on for years would finally begin to make progress in bringing this war to an end.

With a country full of suffering and brokenness, pray that God would use us to bear the burdens of our Ugandan brothers and sisters. Pray that He would use us to encourage them in their time of need. Pray that God would give us His perspective of the Sanyu Babies Home (the baby orphanage) I don't know how to prepare myself for the emotions that will come with this day. Pray that God will prepare us for the difficulties we will face.
Each night thousands of children commute from their villages and the displacement camps to find safety from the rebels in the city. During this commute sometimes the children are attacked, while the parents had to stay home. It is a regular occurrence for girls to be raped during this nightly commute, even by the government's own soldiers. Pray that even for just one night the commuters would be safe from violence.

Thursday, January 21, 2010
As our ideas of what this trip may look like shifts, or God changes our plans entirely, pray that we would all have the faith and flexibility to move WITH His will. Pray that the de-worming clinics will be successful and that God would use something so basic to touch the hearts and lives of His people. Pray that we would each have self-less attitudes and God-full attitudes. It's so easy to get tired or lazy after a few days and just decide to help out when you feel like it. Pray that God would help us guard our hearts towards this complacency and give us diligent hearts to make the most of every precious minute we have there.
Much of the international aid that is brought into the country is stolen by the rebels. Pray that something would change so that the people who NEED the help would receive the help that is sent to them and that God would prevent the rebels from being able to steal it.
 

Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Pray that our actions and words above all else, bring glory to our God! Pray that as we travel from the guesthouse to the various places we will be serving that God will grant good reflexes and open alert eyes to our driver as he navigates through the craze of third world driving (which he does on a daily basis). Pray for the day we spend in the Kampala Hospital. Pray that we would bring smiles to children's faces in the midst of a scary time, and hope to terrified families.
Many of the children we will encounter in the hospital are children who have wounds of war. Gunshot wounds, burns, malnourishment, etc. Very few children who need the help the hospital offers are even ABLE to get to the hospital. Most of these children are stuck in displacement camps where there is about one nurse to ever 5,000 people, with no doctors or aids. Pray that the government would change their regulations on this, and even train the jobless in the camps to aid the nurses there. Let's kill two birds with one stone!

Pray that on medical clinic days God brings those who most desperately need our help, and that He would supply us with the means to aid and bring hope to each individual situation. Pray that we will have faith. In the preparation time I only got a glimpse of what Jesus meant when He said we could move mountains if only we have faith. Pray that God gives us the faith to move whatever mountains get in our way.
Pray for the parents whose children have been abducted and are missing. Pray that God would bring them peace and the ability to live each day.

As we go to church in Uganda and worship with the locals, pray that God uses us to encourage them and build them up in the Lord. Pray for safety and protection from violence and that political stability is maintained. Finally as we experience a different aspect of the global church and how God is moving, that He would reveal to us a new aspect of His character that enhances our understanding of Him.
Pray for protection for recovery homes from rebel soldiers. Places set up to help reintegrate child soldiers who have escaped. In these homes, children receive mental, physical, and spiritual healing. Several are run by World Vision. Knowing this is where "runaways" go, the rebels will sometimes attack these places of refuge.

Pray that God grants me good health while I'm in the country, that none of my known conditions acts up or causes problems, and also that my immune system is strong and God protects me from the various diseases easily contractible in Uganda, such as malaria, yellow fever, hepatitis, etc. Pray also that the whole team is filled with faith to trust God in EVERYTHING and that this is a defining characteristic of this team. Pray that God builds strong relationships between us all and there are no opportunities for arguments or contentions.
Pray that the leader of the rebel movement, the Lord's Resistance Movement (LRA), Joseph Kony, is caught so that peace talks can continue and he can be arrested for the charges brought against him by the international courts.

Pray that the team has a safe flight into Uganda. The majority of the team is flying in from London but several are flying in from Australia. Pray we have a safe drive from the airport to Jinja, the city we'll be working out of... this includes the craziness of third world country driving and protection from any attacks from rebel movements, etc. Pray for rapid adjustment from the jet lag for the entire team.

Pray that God strengthens the church of Uganda and sifts the truth from the lies in the spiritual beliefs.

I got to London and at customs one of my bags didn’t show up. So I went to go make a claim on that. While I was doing that, someone took off with the cart that had my other suitcase and my carry on on it. So the guy who was helping me make the claim helped me look all over the area for it. I can’t imagine that someone would go through customs with someone elses bags… but someone did. As we were giving up someone came running from the parking garage and said he took the wrong bag and asked the worker I was with to take it back to baggage claim. It was my carry on. So I have my prescriptions The two other bags still have not show up yet. So I do have my money my passport one change of clothes and a few granola bars. Everything else is missing. AHH! So please pray that God does whatever needs to be done to get those bags into Uganda.Thank you all so much for your encouragement and prayers!
Nicole

Farewell

So if I ever finish packing... this is it. Thank you all for all the support and encouragement you have offered of the past several months. My brother will be manning the blog while I am gone, and posting the daily prayer requests. Here's todays

Safe Travel into London. I and 5 other team members travel to London today and we have a 19 hour layover. Pray that we have good weather in our departure and destination cities. Pray also that during this layover we begin building good relationships and that we have encouraging conversations that prepare us all for the weeks to come.

Pray that no children are abducted today in Uganda and pray that even just one makes it home out of captivity today.

Wow

It seems as though that change in the heart behind my prayer was all God was waiting for because I received the remaining $700 I needed in funding and I can now praise God in proclaiming I am fully funded and excited and much less nervous to go now. Thank you prayer team for all your prayers!

I'm going to be taking a little break from all things media related for the next few days and really zone in on what God would have me see about Him and my relationship to Him. I will be saying a little good-bye Thursday morning on here before I leave, and my brother will be posting the daily prayer requests on here. If there is a day that God really moves on your heart to pray for something specific please feel free to share that with me, I will be keeping a detailed journal and I will hopefully be able to share with you what was happening around that time that you were being urged by the spirit to pray.

So THAT's the big picture...

So I was reading "A Hole in Our Gospel" by Richard Stearns, the President of World Vision and all of it makes sense now.
He was talking about this time of desert land he went through in his life with 14 months of unemployment, in today's economy that doesn't sound like much now, but during that time he learned to depend on God fully as he studied the Israelites and how it took the Israelites 40 years to learn to trust God for that manna.
I was turning this over in my mind, all the while for a few days now I've been trying to figure out why it feels wrong to pray that God will provide for my trip. I know He is the great provider and that after all this He will provide, so then I know I should be praying about this issue... but maybe not in this way.
So then it sudenly hit me. I need to be praying for FAITH that God will provide not so much that He will provide, and as I do that I am already thanking Him for the miracle that I know he put into motion before I even thought I was going to Uganda. I just need to wait.... faithfully.

So please pray with me that I will have faith.

God IS faithful

I know our God is a faithful God, and He has been so faithful over the past few months with everything. Now I'm getting scared though. Because in addition to being faithful I know God does things we don't understand. I'm 5 days away from leaving. But I figured my final paycheck and the donations I have currently and then included the money not included in ground fees that we need to have to cover meals, etc. I still need about $700 before Wednesday. I never recieved that much money in donations in one week... I'm terrified right now. I don't know what I'll do if I don't have enough money. I'll really fit into the culture. I'm supposed to go and help though... not fit in. I'm so torn and frustrated and stressed. ugh!

Pressure Rising

Wow it's been a little while since I updated.

So here's where I'm at. 8 days away, I'm feeling excited, a little anxious, overwhelmed, blessed, encouraged, scared, all the while I'm anticipating watching the hand of God at work.

I still have about $930 in funds I need to raise. So I'm anticipating watching God perform that miracle. I'm physically exhausted and tired - I've had issues with the endometriosis this last month to the point where I had to make a little trip to the ER last week. I'm feeling a little better, but I now am confident that whatever strength is needed to finish preparing to go and complete the work He has for me there... is all through Him, because I'm really just tired and want to sleep (so I am going to bed soon. )

I was very encouraged tonight at church though, I was given an opportunity to share during church about my trip. The church prayed over me which moved me so much I was choking back tears the whole time. Then after church I had several conversations that all brought up different aspects of ways I need to be preparing spiritually and personally and be praying over and then also these specifics I can extend out to the prayer team.