Pain is better today, praise God!
A unique answer to my prayers about making progress towards the goals necessary to get to medical school. I will be homeschooling one of the kids I tutor as of Monday. CRAZY. I know God has plans for this experience beyond just making money to pay off my debt. Beyond obviously changing this kid's life forever... I think the teaching experience will somehow play into my future. I made my first lesson plans tonight. I had to come up with the list of stuff he needs for his parents. I'm excited to see the changes in him. He's so far behind in school it has effected his self- esteem, he's depressed, and is headed towards a bad future with a bad attitude. It's so cool that I get to be the cross roads. The major problems should fix fast, which will be fun to watch.
Many new exciting things to look forward to in the coming months, including, Lord willing, getting better!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
pain... yuck
I've had a bad day in regards to whatever it is that I've got. Massive headache and pains in my knees and ankles. My body desperately wants rest but my mind won't let it. I've been reading more of the Guerrilla Hostage today. It helps distract me some. I have also found rest in that if God can save Ray from such a dire situation. Give him peace in the jungle with his captors on Christmas... then God can certainly get me through this. He will grant me rest and peace, sometimes through reconnection with a close friend, sometimes through hope of a job I can do from home, and sometimes just by letting me know He is there and He is in control. I wish I could do something to feel better... but rather I will be still.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Be still?!
Guerrilla Hostage... Fabulous book. It's about Ray who was captured but Colombian Guerrillas. He was held hostage by these men, yet has forgiven them. That in it of itself made me thing I have to read this cause I struggle with what forgiveness means when the hurt still stings. Anyway then end of the last chapter really struck me. When Ray was first captured his wife and kids had to go back to the states and his wife had to live in this limbo of grief and hope. She'd lost her husband, but maybe not permanantly. Daily she was overcome by this urge to "do SOMETHING" I can completely relate with how sick I've been. There are days where I'll take every vitamin in the house and drink tons of water hoping that will help. Days I've forced myself to go on a walk and push past what I have in me (only to be extreemly ill that night) I think I just have to DO SOMTHING. But this quote gives me peace and strength to go on. "We don't often consider that sometimes Jesus is our strength simply to sit still. " Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10. Our natural tendancy when we have a painful happening in our lives is to go into action - do something. Somtimes it is wiser to sit and just be still. The answers will come." Whoa. Talk about giving a person permission to take a deep breath and relax. I think this might be the beginning behind the REAL meaning of Shalome.
So here's to pressing on and being still at the same time. Hum. I think that means being content in the situation God has for you presently. Yet not shutting down. It means I can let go of these circumstances I can't control and just seek God. Just be greatful for the fact that I am not in the hospital, but able to be home in my own bed. For the fact that I get like 6 hours a day, sometimes more, to just hear God, without the voice of a boss drowning out His voice. Thank you God... Thank you.
So here's to pressing on and being still at the same time. Hum. I think that means being content in the situation God has for you presently. Yet not shutting down. It means I can let go of these circumstances I can't control and just seek God. Just be greatful for the fact that I am not in the hospital, but able to be home in my own bed. For the fact that I get like 6 hours a day, sometimes more, to just hear God, without the voice of a boss drowning out His voice. Thank you God... Thank you.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Purpose and History
I'm on my way to being a missionary working around the world bringing the hope of the gospel through physical and spiritual healing.
I'm at the beginning of a long road. For months I have been overwhelmed by the length of the path in front of me. Not sure which foot to start out on. I realized that by not choosing a foot, I've been standing still.
So the purpose of this blog is to keep me on track. Each day I am committing to doing SOMETHING to work towards that goal. I can't stand still anymore, even a slow shuffle along this path is faster then the rate I am moving now.
The History:
It all started one summer I was working as a life gaurd at a camp in Eastern Nevada. The Theme was Jonah and missions. During worship God spoke to my heart and I listened. He asked why I wouldn't serve Him in missions. I made up some lame excuse like, "well, God, I have to be called to do something like that, I haven't been called..." I basically got an "oh yeah?!" from that and my heart began to move and to change. Once void of compassion for those lost and hurting my heart began to weap uncontrolably for those around the world...lost. I did some investigating into this newfound passion. I went to a conference. I changed majors. I moved to a cheeper place to go to a cheeper school. Ended up starting missionary bootcamp 101.
That first year after that breezy evening in the Ruby Mountains of Nevada I spent over a month in 2 different countries on three different trips doing mission work of various types, seeking confirmation. The first trip Mexico: Medical clinics - I found that I am yes called to missions after having two people approach me and ask me to sign on to work for a whole summer in Mexico who did not know my story. Second Trip Guatemala : Medical clinics/construction- Contacts were made and my passion was found. I want to become a doctor so I can perform emergency surgeries in the field and also perscribe medicine for different ailments. I see how God works through the physical to get to the spiritual. Jesus worked in the same way... So it makes sense to follow in his footsteps I think. Third Trip Guatemala :Construction/Food delivery - Passion began to build on this trip. A vision for my future developed.
The Vision:
I want to find my home in central america. Likely in Guatemala. Then I would like to go on intermitent short term trips to Africa, Southeast Asia and South America. I think this would develop into some sort of organization... but only God knows.
The plan to get there:
I want to go to medical school in Guatemala so I can learn to function in a third world country. I want to study tropical medicine there. I have to learn spanish because the first three years are in spanish. So that means Language school. Before any of this happens I have to pay off my debts. I have student loans and consumer credit. Lord willing I will be able to pay this all off in the next year or so, but there's a problem.
The problem:
I'm sick. Doctor's don't know what it is or why. It keeps me from being able to work. So for the past few weeks I felt like I fell into quick sand because I don't know how to work towards my goal if I can't work towards the first goal. (be debt free) I realized missionary boot camp means I need to grow and develop spiritually. So my project for now is to study God's word, and to pray. Pray that God would work through the missionaries working in the field now. That He would prepare the harvest and grow the team of missionaries I will be working with in the not to distant future. So this part of missionary boot camp begins.... NOW!
I'm at the beginning of a long road. For months I have been overwhelmed by the length of the path in front of me. Not sure which foot to start out on. I realized that by not choosing a foot, I've been standing still.
So the purpose of this blog is to keep me on track. Each day I am committing to doing SOMETHING to work towards that goal. I can't stand still anymore, even a slow shuffle along this path is faster then the rate I am moving now.
The History:
It all started one summer I was working as a life gaurd at a camp in Eastern Nevada. The Theme was Jonah and missions. During worship God spoke to my heart and I listened. He asked why I wouldn't serve Him in missions. I made up some lame excuse like, "well, God, I have to be called to do something like that, I haven't been called..." I basically got an "oh yeah?!" from that and my heart began to move and to change. Once void of compassion for those lost and hurting my heart began to weap uncontrolably for those around the world...lost. I did some investigating into this newfound passion. I went to a conference. I changed majors. I moved to a cheeper place to go to a cheeper school. Ended up starting missionary bootcamp 101.
That first year after that breezy evening in the Ruby Mountains of Nevada I spent over a month in 2 different countries on three different trips doing mission work of various types, seeking confirmation. The first trip Mexico: Medical clinics - I found that I am yes called to missions after having two people approach me and ask me to sign on to work for a whole summer in Mexico who did not know my story. Second Trip Guatemala : Medical clinics/construction- Contacts were made and my passion was found. I want to become a doctor so I can perform emergency surgeries in the field and also perscribe medicine for different ailments. I see how God works through the physical to get to the spiritual. Jesus worked in the same way... So it makes sense to follow in his footsteps I think. Third Trip Guatemala :Construction/Food delivery - Passion began to build on this trip. A vision for my future developed.
The Vision:
I want to find my home in central america. Likely in Guatemala. Then I would like to go on intermitent short term trips to Africa, Southeast Asia and South America. I think this would develop into some sort of organization... but only God knows.
The plan to get there:
I want to go to medical school in Guatemala so I can learn to function in a third world country. I want to study tropical medicine there. I have to learn spanish because the first three years are in spanish. So that means Language school. Before any of this happens I have to pay off my debts. I have student loans and consumer credit. Lord willing I will be able to pay this all off in the next year or so, but there's a problem.
The problem:
I'm sick. Doctor's don't know what it is or why. It keeps me from being able to work. So for the past few weeks I felt like I fell into quick sand because I don't know how to work towards my goal if I can't work towards the first goal. (be debt free) I realized missionary boot camp means I need to grow and develop spiritually. So my project for now is to study God's word, and to pray. Pray that God would work through the missionaries working in the field now. That He would prepare the harvest and grow the team of missionaries I will be working with in the not to distant future. So this part of missionary boot camp begins.... NOW!
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