I've gone from thinking of the Internship at my church as a plan B to probably plan A. I am afraid to shut the door on nursing school but during finals week God opened my eyes to how little I trust and depend on him.
I had a take home test for Microbiology. I was feeling a lot of pressure to do well on this test because I got a 78% on the midterm and I really needed to get in the A, A- range to bring my GPA up. I hadn't studied probably as much as I should have throughout the semester and so I was worried I was going to miss some major points in my essays because I forgot key concepts. Most of the questions were the form of read this article and answer some complex question about it in essay form there were 9 questions and we were given 48 hours in the middle of finals week to do it. See my stress level? So by the time I got to sit down and do it I was so stressed I could barely concentrate. I was thinking I was going to skip out on college group and just stay home and get it done cause it was probably going to take most of the night. By the time it was time to go to college group I wasn't making any progress and was ready to quit. I figured I may as well go to college group and refresh my mind. It was a good time of worship and God encouraged me that he would help me stay awake to get it done and I can do it I just needed to calm down. So I came home and sat down to finish the 5 hardest questions I had saved for last. It took me about an hour and a half to finish. From what I heard from the rest of the class they spent about that much time on each question. I did on the first few also. So then turning it in I was nervous I had slopped through it to get it done. But as I thought it over there was no way I would have changed any of my answers. I got my grades back the next week. I got an A- in the class meaning I got an A on that final!
It was in the process of finishing that final and receiving the grade that I realized how much more I need to depend on God in the regular day to day stuff. The studying, the working, probably even in the stuff I do to try and keep the endometriosis from taking over my life. Though I know God could teach me that in many ways. I think the opportunity for the internship has been put in my life for this purpose. and I think if I were to attempt nursing school without going on this journey first, my efforts will be futile at best.
So right now I am expecting to do the internship but leaving the door open for God to change that again, mostly because I know if I close the door, I will end up being wrong. :)
Who would have thought that God would give me direction about my future through a microbiology exam?
