I want to say Yes! Sometimes I say No.

I've been thinking about missions a lot lately. God's been doing some spring cleaning in my heart this week and there are a few lessons I want to share with you.

First I've been learning about the curse of money. Money can bring freedom, but not in the way our society says. Just turn on the TV with people hoarding everything from cats to canned food society says keep everything you can get your hands on and hold on to it. You might need it tomorrow. That sounds like fear not freedom to me. Sometimes society says to put it in a savings account, but what happens when the stock market crashes and that's gone - looks like fear not freedom to me.

I see freedom in the person that recklessly gives it all away trusting that God will provide for tomorrow. This is biblical. As much as don't want it to be in our comfy american homes with air conditioning and clean running water. When the Israelites lived on manna did God allow them to keep more then what they needed for the day? No. When they did the result was much like the show hoarders: buried alive, with maggots and gross icky things invading their homes. God has always asked his people to trust Him and to live on what He gives them and to generously give trusting He will supply more.

So when God asks me to go, to give, to do, I wish I always said yes, sometimes I do. But sometimes I don't. I was broken today when as God was showing me this dicotamy about money I remembered I went to lunch with a friend a few weeks ago. We were walking from our cars to the restaurant and were stopped by a man who let us know that the soup kitchen had stopped serving already. My response to this was not to hear his honest need for food but I was offended that he thought I looked homeless and I carried on with my friend. I didn't see that right in front of me God had placed a man who needed to see the love of Jesus made real in someone willing to buy him lunch that day. In our culture it's easy to make the excuse that we don't give to the homeless because scams are too common or that they'll just use it for drugs, or this isn't a safe part of town to stop in... Arn't all those "reasons" just evidence of living in fear. Jesus didn't say that we're blessed when we do it to the least of these if we feel like it. He just said we are blessed when we do it because we do it for him. Honestly if it was Jesus... you would give. Jesus says it's the same thing. All that aside. I didn't even have that excuse with this man. I could have asked him to join us and I could have bought him lunch and been blessed to hear how God is moving in his life. maybe. Or maybe he would have turned my offer down, but I would have said yes to God, but that day I said no. I wish I could go back and say yes. To be honest any time I've ever said yes to God, I've never wanted to go back and say no.

Same day, same car drive through town, different conversation with God. I found out a few days ago of a missionary opportunity to work part time in Uganda and part time in the US. I can do this position while I'm in school and grow in some skill sets that will always be needed working in missions. I will be eligible to raise support through the ministry so I can do this missionary work like a job I would just have to ask people to pay my paycheck, which I may as well get used to doing anyway. So I've thought and prayed and asked others to pray and I wasn't seeing much of a downside but I wanted to be sure. So as I was driving I heard God ask me why I shouldn't take that position. "Well God, I'm not good enough, It's going to be hard, and what if you aren't faithful to provide my needs... Oh. I guess I have my answer then, Lord." Plain as day God showed me my heart. So I have a choice, live in fear and say no to God, or recklessly abandon this life that's not my own and say yes. Do I have to tell you what I chose?

Life is nothing but change

It's been a while so allow me to update you. School has been been an amazing learning opportunity and I'm currently taking a detour. I failed my pharmacology class by 0.8% I can't progress to the second quarter of the nursing program without passing that class. So I am doing the Medical Assistant program to keep my skills up and I will graduate in June of this year! Next fall I will take the pharmacology course again, now knowing how to study for that class (It's way different then normal classes) I am confident I will pass and I will then reenter the nursing program in January 2013.

This only slightly changes my trip to Africa, ok, actually a lot changes the plans for Africa. I will now be going for 4 weeks. 2 weeks in Uganda alone, learning about ministry and life in Uganda to prepare for the future move there. Then a team (unknown who or how big) will join me and we will spend a week in Uganda working in orphanages maybe doing some street ministry and just extending the hand of God's love to the unlovable.
Finally for the 4th week we will take a bus to Tanzania and spend a week with the Forrest Family, missionaries who were launched from my church. There are no real ministry plans but we are going to love on and encourage them. We are intentionally not planning ministry because it's $550 for a work visa, but if we are going just to visit the Forrests it's $50.

I'm excited to just be in Africa again. I'm excited to have more of an independent and leadership roll this time. I'm really excited to see how God will use me.

You have several opportunities to be involved in this trip at varying levels. You can join us. If you feel God is calling you to spend some time in Africa loving His people there, contact me at enlighten.05@gmail.com and let me know. You can also invest in this trip. I mean invest in every sense of the word because your tax free donations mean the world of difference for the lives that will be touched. It means that how ever God uses us while we are there, he's using you too. You become the hands and feet of Jesus through me. Finally you can pray. Let me know that you are consistently lifting me up in prayer about this trip and I'll keep you updated with more details especially as the trip gets closer.

To donate go to valleypraisecenter.com click on "Give Online" then as you enter in where you want your donation to go, in the other box, type "Nicole Card's mission fund" Thank you so much for your investments.

Going Back!

I have been called back to my children in Uganda. I am so excited. I’m officially going. First I officially have to go to nursing school. :) I’m feeling overwhelmed and nervous at this new junction in my life. I know it’ll be ok though and I just need to keep my focus on God. That’s HARD when everything around you is telling you to focus on the homework. I know God is good though and if I make him my priority then I will do well. MY first major act of obedience in this is, no homework on Sunday. This will be a constant challenge but will also allow me to do well in AWANA, I won’t feel pulled in different directions when I need to do AWANA stuff.

Pray for me as I make this transition to nursing school. I feel like not being around the church all the time that I’m not getting prayed for like I was when I was an intern and I need more prayer now.

Re-discover

I feel scared to cry out to be rededicated in my heart. I’m scared o fully commit because what if my grades suffer? I have it so backwards. Jesus I surrender these fears I want to lose myself in You. I want to be completely Yours and I want to find you deeper then ever before. Re-enlighten me and let me rediscover you as I let go of me. Help me to let go of me.

Africa please!

In order to graduate from the nursing program we have to do a community service project. Well, I am working on trying to go to Africa and do an immunization clinic. Please be praying about this and that it will come together. My heart is aching to do this, and I’m really excited about the possibility.

Later...

I just got encouragement from the nursing director too!

blogging purely

I've decided to be more of a blogger. So we'll see how consistent I am...

I'm reading Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot which is basically her book of what would be blogs. She talks about what purity means to will one thing. That is the last thing that defines me. I have so many desires for my life. Sometimes I think I would be saddened if Jesus came just yet, because I feel like there are things that I would be disappointed I missed. I know so much of me is made for nursing school and I plan to use those skills for kingdom purposes, but I'm not of one purpose there. Although it would be great to say my only real love was Jesus. I still want to discover the meaning of two becoming one in all of it's depths. I want to know these things. I want to experience these things. They keep me from being pure of heart though. Which Elisabeth says keeps us from peace. Well that explains a lot. I don't know what to do with this

news worthy

Update time.

I got into nursing school! I'm waiting to hear back from one that's closer to home but I am going to nursing school in the fall.

The number of medications I am on is decreasing and I'm feeling healthier, most of the time.

Jesus is just so good. I struggle to understand why I watch others being blessed financially while I am hindered in ministry and blessing others because I can't pay my bills.

That's what's going on with me these days.