I've been thinking about missions a lot lately. God's been doing some spring cleaning in my heart this week and there are a few lessons I want to share with you.
First I've been learning about the curse of money. Money can bring freedom, but not in the way our society says. Just turn on the TV with people hoarding everything from cats to canned food society says keep everything you can get your hands on and hold on to it. You might need it tomorrow. That sounds like fear not freedom to me. Sometimes society says to put it in a savings account, but what happens when the stock market crashes and that's gone - looks like fear not freedom to me.
I see freedom in the person that recklessly gives it all away trusting that God will provide for tomorrow. This is biblical. As much as don't want it to be in our comfy american homes with air conditioning and clean running water. When the Israelites lived on manna did God allow them to keep more then what they needed for the day? No. When they did the result was much like the show hoarders: buried alive, with maggots and gross icky things invading their homes. God has always asked his people to trust Him and to live on what He gives them and to generously give trusting He will supply more.
So when God asks me to go, to give, to do, I wish I always said yes, sometimes I do. But sometimes I don't. I was broken today when as God was showing me this dicotamy about money I remembered I went to lunch with a friend a few weeks ago. We were walking from our cars to the restaurant and were stopped by a man who let us know that the soup kitchen had stopped serving already. My response to this was not to hear his honest need for food but I was offended that he thought I looked homeless and I carried on with my friend. I didn't see that right in front of me God had placed a man who needed to see the love of Jesus made real in someone willing to buy him lunch that day. In our culture it's easy to make the excuse that we don't give to the homeless because scams are too common or that they'll just use it for drugs, or this isn't a safe part of town to stop in... Arn't all those "reasons" just evidence of living in fear. Jesus didn't say that we're blessed when we do it to the least of these if we feel like it. He just said we are blessed when we do it because we do it for him. Honestly if it was Jesus... you would give. Jesus says it's the same thing. All that aside. I didn't even have that excuse with this man. I could have asked him to join us and I could have bought him lunch and been blessed to hear how God is moving in his life. maybe. Or maybe he would have turned my offer down, but I would have said yes to God, but that day I said no. I wish I could go back and say yes. To be honest any time I've ever said yes to God, I've never wanted to go back and say no.
Same day, same car drive through town, different conversation with God. I found out a few days ago of a missionary opportunity to work part time in Uganda and part time in the US. I can do this position while I'm in school and grow in some skill sets that will always be needed working in missions. I will be eligible to raise support through the ministry so I can do this missionary work like a job I would just have to ask people to pay my paycheck, which I may as well get used to doing anyway. So I've thought and prayed and asked others to pray and I wasn't seeing much of a downside but I wanted to be sure. So as I was driving I heard God ask me why I shouldn't take that position. "Well God, I'm not good enough, It's going to be hard, and what if you aren't faithful to provide my needs... Oh. I guess I have my answer then, Lord." Plain as day God showed me my heart. So I have a choice, live in fear and say no to God, or recklessly abandon this life that's not my own and say yes. Do I have to tell you what I chose?
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