God really did start to do things after my last post. I'm 90% sure I'm going to Uganda in January to work with orphans. As I have prayed over my church here in Washington I'm now seeing God shake things up. I was blessed with encouraging words from a friend who has somehow always been through what I'm going through or is going through the same thing I'm going through. God is just bountifully faith and I am so grateful.
One are I feel so blessed about is I have always had an issue with remembering my quiet times. I am in constant little prayer with God but I often forget to stop and just enjoy his presence and when I read the word my heart doesn't recieve it. This has often burdened me and as much as I tried to force change in my heart I still struggled. I knew this was an issue bigger then simple laziness because I wanted too my heart just wasn't there. I've been praying about it for 18 months off and on when I realize it's an issue again. Finally, finally I see the light and the truth and I feel more free to spend all my time with Him. Some of you may already see the heart issue but I was blinded to it.
It was MASSIVE amounts of pride. Here is a snip from my Journal as I began to realize this.
"I am so full of pride there is hardly room for you in my heart. Humble me that I may drink of you more fully and live more freely in your grace. I want you to look joyfully upon me because of the humility you bring into me and transform me with. I know it'll hurt. It's hard to pray this truly from my heart because I know how deeply rooted pride is in my life, but God I trust you to remove this weed from my life and leave me as a beautiful garden who glorifies the gardener. "
No comments:
Post a Comment